Friday, March 17, 2006

Here's A 7-Iron Right Back At Ya!

I'm sure a lot of you golfers out there will relate to this story. I was playing a round of golf with some buddies of mine at David L. Baker in Fountain Valley, CA. It's an executive golf course that you go out with a 12-pack among friends and have a good time. It was on the weekend and play was slow so we had plenty of time to put down a few beers. By the 5th hole we all were having a great time.

This is about the time things started to turn ugly. We had a group of golfers behind us that I could tell didn't play golf very much. On the 6th hole, which is a short par 4, we got hit into by someone in the group behind us. We all would have been ok with it if they had yelled FOUR, but since they didn't we all got a little pissed off.

The next hole was a par 3 and it was a little backed up so we we had to wait before we could tee off. The group behind us caught up with us on the tee, but made no apologies for hitting into us. I spoke up and told them they need to wait until we're out of reach before hitting up and to yell FOUR next time. They didn't seem to receptive to my words of advice.

Well that wasn't going to affect how much fun we were having that day. In fact me and my buddy removed the straps holding the golf clubs in my brothers golf cart. When we finished teeing off my brother gunned his golf cart and both sets of golf clubs flew off the back of the cart. His reaction to his golf clubs falling off was a little slow because he drug both sets for a good 20 feet. That was one of the funniest things I'd ever seen on a golf course. I was laughing so hard that couldn't breath. I'm sure the 3 beers I had by then made it funnier than it was, but it was damn funny at the time.

We finished playing 7 & 8, which were both par 3's, and we came to 9, which was a par 4. Again we had to wait for the group of golfers in front of us before we could tee off. It's was my turn to tee off. I get settled behind the ball and I'm about to tee off when all of the sudden I hear the sound of water pouring. I look back at my golfing buddies to figure out where that sound was coming from and I almost fell to the ground laughing. One of my buddies was sitting on the edge of the golf bench with his dick hanging out of the bottom of his shorts and taking a piss. He was just sitting there as if it was no big deal. I thought the golf bags flying off the golf cart was funny, but this topped it off.

By the time we all stopped laughing the guys behind us reached the tee. Our grouped finished teeing off and we went up to my buddies golf ball, which was about 150 yards off the tee in the rough. He spent a few minutes looking for it when all the sudden a golf ball lands 10 feet from hitting me. The guys behind us hit into us again and I couldn't believe it. I said fuck it and grabbed my 7-iron and walked over to the ball. I lined myself up at the 9th tee box and fired away. I hit it pure and it was heading towards the guys on the 9th tee box like a heat sinking missile zeroing in on an Iraqi tank. The guys on the tee box looked like they were running for their lives.

My buddies were laughing so hard that they fell to the ground laughing. We finished the hole and went on to the 10th. We were waiting for the golfers behind us to come up, but they never did. I guess they didn't want a piece of me.

The moral of the story... don't hit into the golfers in front of you unless you want to be drilled by your on golf ball in return.

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